"We have to kill the most loving thing...the Love sometimes"

We have to kill the most loving thing...the love sometimes? When I was reading the fiction by paulo coelho..and came across this line it really caught my attention and I started realising how many times in life we have to do this....its true....

I realised...how many times we have to kill the most loving things..not only things...feelings...emotions...relations which are very close to our heart.Feelings which are genuine but may be not right for the person/situation.And the worst thing is we knew that we have to control or kill your feelings or we have to break all bonds, but is it that easy? We know that its out of our control..we just can't terminate the emotions and feeling like an automatic machine.but we have to do it and what are we afraid of ....many a times the fear of suffering is worst than the suffering itself...isn't it?But we keep walking convincing our self that with time everything will be alright...time is the greatest hillier for all worries...the tried and tested philosophy of our human life....but is it so...does it apply every time? Time is really a hillier for all worries/wounds? there are people out there i am sure carrying the broken hearts and feelings and dreams suffering all their life carrying the baggage of all this and just living the life....is that really a life you call worth living?

I always believed that Life is a wonderful gift...and everyday when we woke up we get a new blank canvas gifted by God so that we can start a new life any moment...any day. I realised the importance of this pattern of day and night and thought...may be not today but tomorrow I can live my life as I want. I can avoid the same mistakes...I can give one more chance to myself....every suffering is just helping me to grow as a strong person...So I decided to kill the most loving thing assuming that may be this is not for me...I have to walk on a different path...so I have decided to kill the most loving thing and ........ just keep walking!!

LOVE…..HOPE……DESIRE……PAIN!!!!

It was a strange dream……..I heard a knock on the door…

Tak ..Tak …Tak…, the knock on the door, who is it? Asked the LIFE inside.
Its us Love, Hope and Desire, can we come inside? No, please leave you are knocking the wrong door. The doors are closed for you all three. Here stays a LIFE, separate from the life outside.
Upon hearing this answer they go. Only to come back again

Tak ,Tak Knock on the door, this time love came along with not just hope and desire but pain as well.

The three , changes their appearances and knocks the door. They knew they will get entry by deceiving. They enter and life inside the door changes (although momentary..but it become beautiful by the grace and charm of love)But Pain is still outside the door…waiting silently. The LIFE asks who are you your arrival has made my life beautiful? You have changed my entire life. Love says I’m your “FRIEND” and I came to make your life beautiful .” Friend?” “Which friend “?the LIFE asks again? I’m your new friend and I came to your life because I feel you need me and so do I. Life accepts the explanation and says ”O finally you came…be mine forever and stay with me for the rest of my life”. Upon hearing these words from LIFE…Love feels that it has already committed and possessed by somebody else. so LOVE replies ,” no my dear…..I have to leave I’m not your friend I’m love and I’m possessed by somebody else. I just came here to stop for a while and to check if any feelings left in you. Do you still feel any emotions? And what I have realized is; although the doors were closed for a long time for LOVE, HOPE and DESIRE you and you started living in your own world You still have those feelings deep down….buried somewhere. My job was just to check it out. I did my job and now I have to leave……..with these words LOVE left along with HOPE and DESIRE. The LIFE shatters again…but the PAIN which was waiting patiently outside the door enters inside to give a company to LIFE and closes the door so that nobody enters again.

What does that mean…some things in life are really strange….

Art of putting face

"World is great stage and we are playing different characters"…Shakespeare said so. That touched my heart and I thought isn’t that true…indeed we are playing different characters everyday..every moment. Through our life the journey makes us play different characters..roles..and play around new themes..new plots..new situations..and new places as well. But eventually we become expert in playing all roles and don’t realize the changes it brings to our personality, life. But along with role what we change is face…..the real face and the face to show the world.

But putting up different faces is a real difficult art and can be achieved with great skill and I believe that the intensity of experiences good or bad makes you learn to wear the new faces.But what makes it important to wear a different face?Because your Face is the mirror of your heart,emotions and you can not wear them and show it to the world all the time. With time I felt that its and interesting art to learn to put such face that you show little or no feeling, no expression and many problems will be solved automatically. May be this is not going to work all the time. But I have decided to give it serious try.

Mind v. Heart

“It’s the choices make us what we are;so we should always make right choices” wonderful..a good lession to learn. But are we always able to do that? Many a times we follow our heart knowing that it just going to lead us toward the pain at the end of it. But still we became slave and follow it wherever it goes. We make this this mistake rather a common mistake in our life again and again ;And everytime we get hurt we learn this lession all over. Listen to your heart but take the decisions only by listening to your mind.

When it comes to decide who is right we always tend to blame our mind saying that o its so cruel and heartless to think and take decision by following your mind and ignoring your heart, cause we believe that our heart is the orgin of all our feelings…love, hope, desire, happiness, pain etc.so obviously we try and justify everything that heart says…weather its good or bad, and end up losing hopes…getting hurt…etc .But have we ever stopped doing it?

I’m sure everyone of us has made this mistake of following the heart even when we knew that its not going to work out. Why? Because we all love to take chances in our life..which means we live on hopes..hope of may be it will work for me…but does it? No it doesn’t. Then again we start blaming our heart but we forget that it’s the heart who is suffering the pain..Humans aren’t we expert in blame game J

Many a times we follow the heart and try to achieve the dreams but the journey is not rosy always. …sometimes the road becomes so painful that your feet gets hurt and start bleeding, your mind stops working and surrenders to your heart, and sometimes even the dreams get shattered and when dreams get shattered..your hearts and your hope gets shattered too. Then do we stop? No we walk through those shattered dreams with feet full of blood towards a new dream. Thats the human life and that new hope gives a meaning to live life all over again…isn’t it??

Fascination of Ganga!!

It was a pleasant morning…birds were twittering & cool breez was playing with my hair as if romancing with me the very touch of cool breez was making me feel high & so fresh & relaxed that I was feeling to lie down & whisper with the sparkling and forceful flow of Ganga….indeed I was sitting on the bank of river Ganga at the holy place Hrikesh….on the lovely winter morning with fog & cool rather chilly breeze surrounding me rather taking me in the arms…I was watching the forcefully running crystal clear, transparent water of Ganga…it was so pure so cold & and running with full enthusiasm. that I felt like the life is here in the arms of Ganga…I wish I could live life like her… The very sight of Ganga makes you feel relax and gives you the strength to live life fully just like her…How accommodating she is…flowing from ages..accepting all the things from human life..grief, sorrow, happiness, and listening patiently to all expressed and unexpressed human emotions..she takes in her arms all those souls who wish to share their innermost feeling…which they can’t express to anybody. And I think her ability to accommodate everything and keeping the darkest secret to herself and giving the strength to live life makes her more respectable and worthy of worship even by Gods. From ages she is been worshipped by all as she even washes the sins of all fallen souls .Sometimes I wonder can I ever become like her patient, accommodating, full of life..and listening and keeping all the secrets and just spreading life to all the souls in the world. Will we ever be able to reach at her level and earn so much respect? Sometimes I just wish to rest in her arms and forget everything.I feel so secured when I’m in her arms..which makes me calm down and foget everything…When I sit on the shore..and put my little feet in the water..the cold sensations just ran through my nerves and gave me that kick…which makes me feel high and relax…I just loved the touch of the cold water..but slowly the water started getting warmer as I started feeling it all over me…it was a feeling as if I was in the arms of my mother..and the touch and feel of warmth…so relaxing…then I felt I should just spend some time with her so that I get reenergized…cause she took away all my secrets and she just washed away all my worries…o god I felt so relaxed..so energized…and so full of life…Now I’m ready to face the world again…she just played the role of my mother…indeed cause she is mother earth..the lifeline…all I wised is to visit as many times as possible…and keep in touch with her…I didn’t even knew when she became part of my life…
So we promised to meet again…very soon!

My Blue orchid dream !!

I just realized that I was standing & staring at the huge Victorian style iron gate … although full of moss & covered by unmanageable green creeper but somehow it grabbed my curious attention. And whatever shabby state it was in, but indeed it was giving the royal & graceful look to ..whatever.. hiding behind it & raising enough curiosity to peep inside.
An irresistible urge to go inside…I tried hard to open it…and with loud noise it opened
And when I stepped inside …I just thought I’m in heaven….heaven of blue orchid….the garden was in full bloom of blue orchid…….wow what a blue beauty I never felt so good about blue color….the trees were also bloomed with nice tiny little blue flowers & with the soft breeze they were dancing as if matching the rhythm of breeze……no no .. rhythm of that soft flute which was floating like a divine sound all over the garden…and it was not the breeze., it was the divine sound the flowers were dancing to…I got so mesmerized…..I desperately started to search the source of it….I couldn’t … ….And finally I reach to him he was not in this world when I saw him playing the flute…he was looking so heavenly as if he is an angel…and in the blue night with full moon….the rays of moon was just focusing on him….nop showering the soft silver light of the moon just on him…I guess…mesmerized and speechless I sat at his feet without disturbing him…and I just got lost in the heavenly beats of it. In the silver light his heavenly blue colored body was shimmering…his long beautiful fingers were magically playing the flute…and his beautiful closed eyes were just…no words to explain…so pure..so heavenly and beautiful. I felt as if this is what I was looking for my whole life…and it just came true..so close..but so unreachable. I felt as if …if I will try to touch …everything will vanish in thin air….and when I longed for this in my whole life how can I destroy it…..

I sat with closed eyes..for how long I don’t no…I think it was the most beautiful moment of my life…I don’t wish anything more than this…I got everything when I saw him…he is the one I was searching for my whole life… strong urge to talk to him…I wanted to ask him…where have been for so long ??? why did you took so long to meet me??? Who are you really??? I think ..I know you but I don’t recognize you ??but I think I knew all the answers..and If I will ask he will just keep his long finger on my lips and will give me his trademark mysterious smile…and as usual he will say I’m with you all the time..it just that you ignored me…& when he say so I’m puzzled and confused….he always love to confuse me…and again the trademark smile …and I’m still confused deeply thinking how can I ignore him and that too when I loved him for my whole life..IGNORE not possible..thinking that I gave an angry look..I just start walking..when he just stands infront me..but I’m in no mood to talk ..he broke my hurt…how can he do it…but he took my hand and gently pressed it in assurance and softly said I’m with you all the time..come sit here..and I sat..lost in the music of flute…in the blue orchid garden…forever & ever…infinitely

When I came back I thought: Dreams are like romance evergreen and never-ending and as new as it born…fresh like a new bud…like a first ray of a sun…like a new leaf in the spring…..

Dreams give the hope for tomorrow…to look up to something and move ahead in life…
Colorful dreams gives you that zeal to kick start the new day/ phase/innings….the realities of life shatters your faith but a simple dreams drives you away from all the sorrow & unhappiness. I think that’s why I could travel the journey of life …

My dreams are my biggest strength…and I always believed in it or may be because I believed in it, it has given me all the strength to become what I’m today.

In the darkest and never-ending times of sorrows all of us struggle to find the ray of hope…that one ray of hope is what a dream…ya I think so…
That’s why somebody has rightly said that Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us & new beauty waiting to be born….like it just born in the blue orchid garden….born as if never to fade..never to grow..n just remain as beautiful as it is…giving me a hope that yes there might be some place in this world where I can found my blue orchid garden…I already started my search..……….

.Indeed Dreams unlimited….

Me on spirituality!!

I dont no the big words & scientific definitions...but when somebody says r u spiritual means what?All I was thinking about spirituality is feeling blessed by god!...I have simple funda of living life...We should lead our life in such a way that we shouldnt trouble nybody unnecessary & go out of the way to help others & thats the way my karma will will treat me!!..I followed this funda and in return I feel I'm blessed cause God has came & helped me in some or the other way. May it be anywhere & any place ....few days ago in a crowded supermarket when i accidently enterd in tne wrong billing line & a old couple started fighting with me....considering there age i kept quite for some time but they continued thinking that if i'm not opposing or saying anything means i'm weak or something...no i was not...i was just trying to repect there age..but i just said one thing before leaving that line..you should respect others as well ...thats it ....my patients helped...God heard my words...The manager of the supermarket came from nowahere & took the trolly from my hand & said"Mam I will make sure that Your billing wont take more than 2 minutes & come with me" wow ...& without giving me a chance to speak he simply took trolly from my hand and started walking to main counter..I was simply shocked & followed him .....& in a minute my billing was done...moreover he didnt stop expecting that i should say something to him....he just vanished .......how amazinggggggg.........I feel so blessed I thought God is just somewhere very near to me....just eger to help me !!!! never in my life i felt so blessed...I think thats spritulity.....feeling blessed all the time...

Well what i lernt in my small life is that If i have good intentions in all my actions & if i'm true to my heart & my words I have achiveved the highest level of spritulity because end of the day what God expects from us is to treat all equally ...but it doesn't that mean we should face humiliation, injustice...NO stand for your right infact always stand for what is right....so nguys...believe in what you do & always follow your heart......

On Winter in Amchii Mumbai !!

All that i was missing is my home and the pink winter of pune. yes i'm a puneri girl but to follow my dreams i came to Mumbai two years ago. But as usual i always miss pune and specially the winters in pune.But this year i can experienc the pink winter in Mumbai also. as temperature started flacuating from almost 32 to 20,18,16,10 I started feeling as if i'm in Pune. suddenly I have become more romantic & enthusiastic. The mornings are more chilly ..cold...and i just dont feel like coming out of the quilt...I just feel like cuddling & trying to keep myself warm. and then the ..the golden sun rays gives me all the enthusiasum and inspiration to kick start the day with new zeal...suddenly the romantic songs playing on the bla bla radio station make me go more pink and romantic...n I start feeling..as if this is the most romantc day in my life...isnt it...The sun was never so bright,the mornings were never so fresh...and the birds were never so happy as they are now cause here comes the pink winter...the most romantic season...the heave quilt of fog covers the entire city and thease are the rerest momnts were you can actually see the city as a blank canvas...my imigination start the moment i see the blank pure white canvas through my window while having the kadak hot ginger tea with kadak biscuts (that sounds more marathi than the cookies :) ). I start playing with blank canvas...i start painting the city as per my choice...I create the mini kashmir..with lush green gardens..cheerping birds...small water fountains....even the snow little here and there...and me sitting in that gardan doing my regural Yoga..sesssion...how wonderful....and slowly the sunrays start fading the colors on my canvas...the greenry is fading the snow is melting...and all i could see is the plains taking off from the airports..cause the fog is gome and i can clearly see the airport from my window....but never mind...the momentory dream is enough to give me freshness and spirit to start my day.....thats life...so keep moving..n enjoy the moment