In Twilight

That was a lazy Saturday morning of rainy season……more cloudy weather wet and cold…..the cold and wet atmosphere was matching up with my mood…which was frozen like it since how long I didn’t realize….so all and all everything was in rhythm the mood the day and the coldness…of body, mind and soul I guess…I do not realize it more now a days…I think the feeling of numbness makes you forget hell lot of things….but not the pain.
The day started normally and I thought of doing some routine work before taking the afternoon break so I was in hurry to go back to numbness…..in a hurry I stepped out and felt strong intuition that some this is going to be wrong…horribly wrong…and that feeling didn’t scared me…instead it gave me high…like some tempting…addiction ….to find pain more severe than what’s burning in heart…I clutched my hands right across my heart just to minimize the pin….worthless effort thought…
I stood numb in the rain which was making wet the feeling which I use to hate and now so used to it .I knew that one more step and I won’t be able to control the consequences even though I knew what’s going to happen…..so I decided to check it….let’s see which pain overcomes let them fight….i was hoping that the physical pain that i will be going to face will surely divert the other pains…constantly surrounding me..like they have no other place to go. I kick started my bike with little trembling hands and accelerated the speed….and there it is I saw the right place where I knew I’m going to lose control if not controlled now….but the adventure was very very tempting to go through this…a sharp pain intensified somewhere in my heart…that made me realized it is still there making me realize that I’m still alive…..to embrace more adventure…to see the limits of pain…from all sides……..while thinking about this I lost control…and next moment my bike skidded and I was flat on the ground………it took a moment for me to realize where I am…..people surrounding me…trying to help me….and checking out me if I’m ok…still conscious..While they were worried about my consciousness…I was busy checking….the intensity of the pain…and comparing it with the pain in the part of my body called heart….it was still there….no difference …I lost the battle the physical pain was not sever than that pain….i knew that I was badly injured physically…but I cared a dam for it….the moment I realized this…..i got up…checked my bike if its in good position…and decided to take a long ride…so that I realize how much pain my injury causes….so there I was riding a bike…in drizzling….and came back home…and just to provide little just a little relief to my injuries….i cleaned and went back to reading….started from last page to next page…and concentrating mostly on the injuries to intensify pain….and comparing it stupidly……opsssssss I really liked this adventure……its kind of fun…its kind of I like to remain in this state…it gives me high….feeling high…………..and I wished this moment should be freezed….like it did long back…like it did when I realized it more fun acting like a machine…than a humanbeing……and I closed the chapter to return back to my world…world of humans

compassion!

They say it’s the feeling of which helps you to understand others and their point of view. We can be compassionate without being empathetic…compassion and empathy although sounds similar they are not.little difference.being loving ,caring,reaching out to others,helping without any self interest,understanding the value of humanity,treating fair and equal are few examples of compassion.Compassion is a deed which doesn’t involve any interests .For example helping a blind man to cross the road shouldn’t be done with a feeling that it’s a sure shot ticket to get place in heaven It should be out of your desire to help people…because by doing this you should feel good,satisfied and content,that’s compassion.
So be fair in relationships…never hurt people around…..and treat fairly….it hurts badly when people humiliate…give unfair treatment. Learn the lessons of life….its now…time is now…..they say its easy to fill and recover the physical wound…..but when your hurt at heart it’s not visible but it bleeds a lot…and it never heals….stay away from such deeds…..that's unforgivable crime…never hurt…never ever.Be little compassionate!!!

I dream of a fairy land!

Fairy tales are something every little girl grows up with. Fairy tales a sweet potion for sweet dreams and lovely sleep. This is the most lovable activity between a mother and daughter or a daddy and a daughter or may be grandparents and a child. We all have gone through that stage and loved being in those sweet dreams of enchanted fairy world where everything ends with the sweet ending of “and they lived happily ever after”

Every little girl grows listening to those sweet stories and dreaming about the same prince charming riding a white horse with a sword ,who is strong, tall lean and handsome with golden hair and green eyes, with a warmth in them and with a wind chasing him, who is stranger but so familiar.And you start living in those dreamy fairy tales of your grand mom and start actually believing that there is a prince charming and one day he will sweep you off your feet and you will fall in love and you will also live happily ever after in your own kingdom…kingdom of happiness!

And I’m sure every little girl must have asked the same question to her grand mom , “nanny how do I know that he is my prince charming? How do I know if he loves me?…and got the same answer of ,”you don’t have to do anything your heart will tell you..it will guide you and take you to the right person and you will realize …”he is my prince charming!” He will find you and take you to the far far away …to his kingdom’. What silly questions and silly answers are those. But we all believed in it till the point we face the real world prince who may not be so charming in manners and who don’t mind breaking hearts.

All fairy tales are just enchantment to make you feel good while you are sleeping so that you don’t get affected by the harsh realities of the world. In real world how many people understand the true meaning of love? In today’s world everybody changes the definition love according to own convenience isn’t it? Love changes with change in time and change in relationship. It doesn’t take much time for people to make statements and change it. Otherwise how is possible a person changes who says he is madly in love on one day and says it’s not love another day? Weird and unbelievable. What makes you behave so weird and how can a person be so selfish? Most of the time it’s not love but a desire to possess a person of your choice and when ,when that desire is fulfilled so does the definition of a relationship and love.

Wake up! Wake up! From all those sweet dreams…world is not that rosy...the world is not fairy land…and there is no such concept of prince charming…..

Today,the essence of love is replaced with the odor of selfishness. The kindness of heart has succumbed to the evilness of mind. And the world has lost stories…stories of glories, happiness, love, and bravery and now we need to write a new story without any fairy lands and fairy worlds.and start believing that a kingdom of happily every after do not exists.

Or start believing in those stories and create the new world with a new faith keeping the evilness of the mind aside and letting the magic of love in the heart to create the new world….so that we can pass on the sweet dreams to new generation without hesitating that they won’t come true and continue the grand moms tradition. Choice is ours what to pass on………… so be conscious what you do to others, how you treat people. Don’t break hearts and don’t hurt anybody. Remember you can run away absolutely from everybody in this world…but my dear your heart and your consciousness will be with you like a shadow. Can you run away from it???? You are answerable to it all the time!